Man Sues Couple He Kidnapped
“The couple gained [their kidnapper’s] trust by eating Cheetos and drinking Dr. Pepper with him while watching the movie ‘Patch Adams.'” Then, they violated that trust.
Brilliant Arguments
Lawsuit Demands $50K to “Recreate” Wedding, Retake Pictures
The New York Times reports that a man is suing the studio he hired to take wedding pictures because he was disappointed with the results. Nothing too unusual about that, by itself; the guy paid $3,500 for a service he says…
Shape-Shifting Donkey Prostitute Strikes Again
She turned into a donkey just before police arrived, it appears.
Police Skeptical of Suspect’s Claim to Be Invisible
Here's some free advice. If you find yourself telling someone that you are "invisible" and "unstoppable," and the person you are telling that to is a police officer, you are neither one of those things. I guess that's really all there…
Dismissal of “Bad Mothering” Lawsuit Affirmed
Ladies and gentlemen, over the years we have seen some horrifying examples of man's inhumanity to man. Also man's inhumanity to woman, woman's inhumanity to man, and woman's inhumanity to woman, plus at least some examples of man's inhumanity to…
Court: No, One Person Can’t Be a “Partnership”
I’m a strong believer that in legal writing, an introduction should pretty much tell you everything you need to know. This one does. The parties to this appeal, a partnership dispute, agree on one issue. They want us to assume…
Saruman McCain Disses “Tea Party Hobbits” Opposing Debt Deal
Again proving that he is generally willing to say what he really thinks as long as he's not running for office, John McCain took to the Senate floor yesterday to bash GOP lawmakers who aren't supporting the Boehner plan, and…
Label Puzzler: Original Recipe AND New Flavor?
The Consumerist is concerned that reading this label might trap a consumer's mind in an infinite logic loop (those who have had trouble with other labels are urged to look away), and/or that a consumer opening the box might find…
Lawsuit Demands End to Use of Term “Inmate”
According to the New York Post, a new lawsuit demands that the state stop using the word "inmate" because it is offensive to inmates the imprisoned the involuntarily freedom-challenged. Or, at least, the plaintiff demands that the state stop referring to…
Expert Lap-Dance Testimony Fails to Persuade Court
Rejecting expert-witness testimony on the subject of lap dances, a court in New York has held that a strip club is liable for $125,000 in unpaid sales taxes. The expert failed to convince the court that a lap dance qualifies…