Brilliant Arguments



Update: Caffeine/Sleep-Deprivation Defense Fails

Reports last week were that the lawyer for Woody Will Smith would argue that Smith was not responsible for murdering his wife because he had done so while suffering from a "brief psychosis" due to lack of sleep and heavy…


Not Guilty by Reason of Caffeine

Reports today say that a 33-year-old Kentucky man will argue in his murder trial this week that he should be found not guilty of killing his wife because he was under the influence of caffeine at the time. Woody Smith's…


$38 Quadrillion Demand is World’s Second Largest

Overlawyered reports, via the Provo Daily Herald, that a Las Vegas man is demanding 38 quadrillion dollars in a lawsuit that has something to do with a Utah mine.  John Theodore Anderson, who also refers to himself more impressively as…


Convicted Terrorist’s Demand for High-Fiber Diet is Rejected

Let's all shed a tear, shall we, for Terry Nichols, who is not only serving a life sentence for conspiracy and manslaughter in the Oklahoma City bombing but is also subjected to a diet unconstitutionally low in fiber. That's what Nichols argued, at…


Fools Convicted

Conviction affirmed, technically, but I liked the sound of this headline better. Kurt Johnson and Dale Heineman were accused of scamming homeowners by promising to get rid of their mortgage debt for a fee.  They did get rid of it,…


Fat Rapist Claims Confession Was Coerced by Junk-Food Offer

Big-bellied rapist Bruce Tuck, a flabby 275-pounder who was somewhat uncreatively nicknamed the "Big-Bellied Rapist" during a string of crimes he committed in Tennessee, has now argued in court papers that his confession was coerced because a detective offered him…



Not Fooling Anyone

Here are just a few of the people who were not fooling anyone this week: Jean Marc Viau, an Edmonton man who claimed an officer beat him up after a traffic stop, when asked in court if he had been…