Brilliant Arguments

America’s Proudest Pedophile

Phillip Distasio took a new and different approach to defending against pedophilia charges at his pretrial hearing in Cleveland this week.  His defense: admit with pride that you are a pedophile. "I’m a pedophile," he told the judge on Wednesday. …


Clever New Zealanders Self-Reclassify Cars to Save on Taxes

New Zealand’s Transport Registration Center said it will be swiftly contacting residents who, it has learned, registered their cars as "noncommercial hearses" instead of personal vehicles so they could save about $80 in fees.  "Noncommercial hearses" and ambulances are exempt…



Sign-Switcher Convicted Anyway

I believe I reported a while ago on the case of John Hopwood, British motorist and speeder who was ticketed after a camera caught him driving 48 mph in a 30-mph zone. Hopwood did the obvious thing: go get your…


Pimp Sues Customers For Engaging in Illegal Activity

A Dutch man who formerly lived in Florida, but was deported after being charged with running one of the largest escort services in the Southeast, has sued six of his former customers for breaking the law while being "escorted."  By…



Order Denying Motion for Incomprehensibility

That’s the actual title, and those are the actual grounds for denial.  Quality work from Judge Leif Clark of the Bankruptcy Court for the Western District of Texas.  Complete with footnote to Adam Sandler movie "Billy Madison." The Smoking Gun.com


Insurer’s Attempt to Blame Dog for Fire Fails

Last month, the Third Circuit affirmed a decision granting summary judgment to the maker and seller of a halogen lamp believed to have caused a fire that destroyed a New Jersey home.  They had been sued by State Farm, which…


Woman + Woman’s Fetus Held Not to Constitute “Carpool”

A municipal judge in Phoenix ruled in 2006 (Snopes, NBC) that a woman was properly ticketed for using the carpool lane, despite her argument that she was in fact riding with a "passenger" because she was pregnant. A good question for…


Judge Not Amused by Twin Antics

Yamahile Ortiz, 18, was sentenced to probation last week after pleading guilty to charging over $1000 on a stolen credit card. And away she went. But back she came not long afterwards, with her identical twin sister Yaricza, and an…