Twenty-One-Octillion-Dollar Demand Still Not a Record
It’s a lot, it’s just not the biggest ever.
Civil
Plaintiff Alleges He Didn’t Know Jets and Giants Play in New Jersey
He also claims there are millions of “similarly situated individuals,” which also isn’t true.
Plaintiff Complains Pop-Tarts Less Healthy Than She Expected
They also do not “pop” without mechanical assistance, which I find highly misleading.
Consumer Alleged She Wanted Only Water From One Particular Mountain (Which May Not Exist)
If it does exist, it’s very important to her.
Plaintiff Alleges “Heart of the Himalayas” Is in India, Not Pakistan (It’s in Nepal)
Or, it’s somewhere else, if there is any such thing.
Settlement in Flintstone-House Case Means 15-Foot Metal Dinosaurs Will Stay
Also the statue of the Great Gazoo.
“Hint of Lime” Case: It’s Not Crunch Berries, But It’s Close
Very close.
Plaintiff’s “Wide-Ranging” Demands: $32 Trillion, Audience With Queen, Swamp Cleaning
Also a full-body MRI, although that part was actually reasonable.
In Blatant Power Grab, D.C. Circuit Tells Lawyers to Stop Using Garamond
In which the separation-of-powers doctrine is invoked in defense of font freedom.
Man Ordered to Stop Doing Autopsies Because He’s Not, Like, a Doctor or Anything
Not really a field where you can just hang out your shingle and learn by doing.