“Your Sorority Will No Longer Be Welcome in Our Facility”
Isn't it time for a remake of "Animal House" that features a sorority instead of a fraternity? If so, they may be able to base it on Pi Beta Phi — at least a composite of a couple of the…
Civil
Google Maps Made Me Walk Onto the Highway, Woman Claims
In my opinion, mapping software paired with GPS technology is one of the more remarkable developments of the modern age, but you know what? You do still need to look where you're going occasionally. Please remember this if you are…
A Farewell to Pants
In the least surprising development of the week, the Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit has affirmed the order dismissing the case of Pants Judge v. District of Columbia, meaning that Roy L. Pearson, Jr., has lost again. This…
Appeal of Crunch Berries Case Dismissed
People, I’ve just received terrible news: the appeal in the Crunch Berries case has been dismissed. As you may recall (I’ve brought it up often enough), this was the California consumer-fraud case in which the plaintiff alleged she had purchased “Cap’n…
Hulkster Sues Post Cereal Over “Degrading” Cocoa Pebbles Ad
Apparently unhappy with an ad for Cocoa Pebbles in which a Hulkesque character gets his ass kicked by Bamm-Bamm Rubble, Hulk Hogan has sued the manufacturer for allegedly misappropriating his likeness. In the ad, called "Cocoa Smashdown," a character identified…
Gene Simmons: “Grinding” Allegations “Implausible” Due to Armored Codpiece
On Friday, lawyers for KISS member Gene Simmons filed a complaint seeking a declaration that Simmons did not assault a woman during a visit to ESPN Studios last year, as she has claimed. Simmons argues that it is "implausible if…
“Gary Null’s Ultimate Power Meal” Almost Killed Me, Says Gary Null
In a lawsuit filed in New York on April 26, Gary Null alleges that he became severely ill after eating a dietary supplement that caused him to develop a number of painful symptoms. In fact, Gary Null alleges, "Gary Null's…
Spider-Man Arrested for Battery
Many have rightly praised Spider-Man for foiling that comic-book-store robbery in Australia last week (with the aid of a few super-friends), but some still question whether his brand of vigilante justice is always a good thing. The robbery story reminded…
Judge Who Lost Pants Forced to Rely on Briefs
That headline’s copyrighted, my friends.
“Plaintiff Has No Recollection of What Transpired in the Private Room”
In January, Gerard Wall sued a business in New York for allegedly overcharging his credit card. The complaint is roughly 15 pages long, but I think I've successfully condensed it by selecting just the following eight sentences from various parts…