Police Wait Patiently for Man in Pond to Surrender
You can flee into a pond, but then what?
Crime and Punishment
Burglar Succumbs to Facebook Addiction
Seriously? You couldn't wait to check Facebook until after you left the place you were burglarizing? Rhetorical question. He couldn't. I was just looking through previous posts that include the word "Facebook" and wow, it doesn't appear to have ever been…
UPDATE: “Balloon Boy” Saga Is Now a Musical
Oh good.
Tagger Arrested for Tagging Courtroom While Awaiting Prosecution for Tagging
Is it worth doing jail time to become a legendary tagger at the ripe old age of 18? Francisco Canseco is probably about to find out. "Tagging" is sometimes used to mean "graffiti" in general, but more specifically refers to…
Superheroes Must Be Able to Do Five Pull-Ups, Group’s Leader Says
You may have heard that "the Rain City Superhero Movement is over," as its leader Phoenix Jones announced the other day in Seattle (KING5 News; thanks, Mark). But the news is not quite that dire. Turns out that RCSM will be…
High Elf Update
As a couple of readers have pointed out (thanks Patrick and Jeff), Vocativ.com scored an interview with the high elf who failed in his assault on Morgoth the other day. See "Fingolfin Defeated by Morgoth (This Time in Portland)," Lowering the Bar (May 18). Turns out…
Fingolfin Defeated Again by Morgoth (This Time in Portland)
The last thing the woman from Northeast Portland probably expected when she got up Tuesday morning was that she would be attacked by a sword-wielding elf. But that's what happened around 7 a.m. as she drove her red BMW by…
Former Giant Tased After Drunken Scooter Chase
He’d have had a better chance on foot.
Sign Installer Cited for Violating Rule on the Sign He Was Installing
“I didn’t know what to say,” said Dan Greding about his reaction to getting a ticket for being parked longer than 75 minutes, which according to the signs he was installing at the time was the maximum time limit for…
“MURDER” Tattoo Update: It’s to Be Turtlenecks in August
Reuters reports today that Jeffrey Chapman, the gentleman who, in one of history's great ironies, unwisely had "MURDER" tattooed on his neck at some point only to later be charged with that very crime, will not be allowed to bring…