Crime and Punishment


Kansas City Ape Owners Must Pay for Rampage, Judge Rules

After a two-day trial featuring "contentious testimony" by 11 witnesses, a Kansas City judge has ruled that the owners of a chimpanzee that went apeshit last year must pay to fix the police car she damaged. As I mentioned at…


International Body Declares No-Wig Zone in the Netherlands

The Associated Press reported this week that at least one judge of the International Criminal Court in The Hague has told lawyers appearing before her to stop wearing wigs. There is no official dress code at the ICC, and given the wide…


Attempted Firebombers Thwarted by Window, Lamppost

The video caption below will tell you most of what you need to know, but here's a little more detail. For reasons that remain unclear, these two gentlemen attempted to firebomb an English pub one night in May 2008. They devised…


Teeth Are Not “Dangerous Weapons,” Says Oregon Court

Oregon has joined those jurisdictions holding that teeth are not "dangerous weapons" for purposes of a statute that enhances punishment for crimes in which they are employed. The defendant had employed said teeth Mike-Tyson-style to detach part of his neighbor's…



Moron Arrested

It isn't the first time, either. Via Neatorama and The Smoking Gun.



“King of the World” Tased

"I'm king of the world!" the man shouted as he sprinted down the street. That's usually going to turn out funny unless the shouter is in fact King of the World at the time, in which case it might still be…


“Twilight” Fan Admits She Lied About Vampire Attack

One more tale of forbidden love and then we say farewell to Valentine's Day for another year. According to Florida police, a 15-year-old girl has admitted she was not attacked and bitten while she was jogging, as she initially told…