Bad Shirt for a Burglary
There are at least two problems here. First, the bright red color is likely to make you highly visible, which is good if you’re trying to cross the street safely but not so good if you’re crawling through somebody’s window…
Criminal Mind, The
Note: Add “Judge’s Nameplate” to List of Things Not to Steal
If you must steal it, please do post a picture of yourself with it on Facebook.
Bad Disguise #5: Shorts on Head
For many people, the facial area is perhaps the most recognizable area of the body, and for that reason an effective disguise will cover that area almost completely. It is important not to cover the eyes, which are the two…
Inmate Sues Himself for Violating His Civil Rights
Here's another example of autolitigation, which like the story in yesterday's post is not new but is worth adding to the archive. Unlike the story in yesterday's post, however, in which it was not inconceivable that there might have been some…
Man Arrested After Stuffed-Monkey Assault
No, it isn't illegal to assault a stuffed monkey – luckily for my dog, who has murdered several – but it is illegal to assault someone with such a monkey, although you'll probably get away with it unless the victim is…
Guys, No Dealing Drugs at the Office—I’m Trying to Run a Ponzi Scheme Here
Lots of entertainment value in Scott Rothstein’s deposition transcript.
Man Calls 911 to Report Hookers’ Breach of Contract
You'd like to think that, at least during the holiday season, people would try harder to get along and to keep their promises to one another, even if the conduct they're all engaged in is technically illegal. But if they…
Manitowoc Should Be Ashamed of This Planking Prosecution
I will admit to finding "planking" – the meme of having your picture taken while lying flat as a plank across something, and then posting it – to be both stupid and funny. To me the world needs more of…
Man Sues Couple He Kidnapped
“The couple gained [their kidnapper’s] trust by eating Cheetos and drinking Dr. Pepper with him while watching the movie ‘Patch Adams.'” Then, they violated that trust.
Man Who Stabbed His First Two Lawyers With a Pencil Stabs Another Lawyer With a Pencil
No, wait — it was a pen this time. And I was about to accuse him of a lack of creativity.