Man Charged With Stealing 784,000 Quarters
No, not all at once.
Criminal Mind, The
Arsonist Sets Own Shoes on Fire
Authorities have asked the public to alert them to anyone appearing to have burned or singed feet.
Really Bad Murder Plot Uncovered Partly by Spelling Mistake
“I’m sorry—he wanted death with what?”
Guy Steals Four Million Pounds of Oranges
Say—weren’t there six to eight million oranges here just a minute ago?
Upon Further Review, I Don’t Know What to Think
There was no foul on the play.
TIP: He’s Probably Not Going to Show Your Snake to His Girlfriend
Here's a nice item from the Crime Blotter in the Columbia, SC, Free Times (thanks, Dedman): Craigslist Bandit: Authorities are looking for a man who has been stealing items from people when he meets up with them via Craigslist. First…
Bumbling Australian ATM Thief of the Week
Actually, this is not likely to become an ongoing series, because I'm confident that most Australians are quite capable of stealing an ATM if they wanted to. No, this one wasn't. That's true. Neither is the guy in today's clip….
“Crybaby Killer” Who Tortured Victims With Parrot Gets 40 Years
When Michael Daly wrote at The Daily Beast that convicted murderer Saul Rodriguez "bawled like a psychopathic baby" at his sentencing, he probably meant that Rodriguez is a psychopath who bawled like a baby, not literally that he bawled like a…
Feds Say They Have Accused Fraudster’s Ankle Bracelet in Custody
Unfortunately, he's not in it at the moment. Paul Ceglia, who once sued Mark Zuckerberg claiming half of Facebook, and who last appeared here back in Assorted Stupidity #39 after his ninth set of lawyers withdrew from that case, has…
FYI, the Secretary of the Treasury is Not “Moe Money”
You might not be able to name the Secretary of the Treasury, but you probably know it isn't "Moe Money." Nor does the United States have a cabinet-level officer, or one at any level, actually, whose title is "Proprietor of…