Doody Convicts Rectal Smuggler
It took a while for the truth to come out.
Criminal
Criminal’s Modus Operandi Probably Just Means He Can’t Spell “Modus Operandi”
Among other things.
Justice Done in Canada With Convictions in Maple-Syrup Heist
To any who would threaten the precious Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve: let this be a lesson to you.
Tree Arrested
Police initially let Tree off with a warning, but the misbehavior continued.
Rectal Smuggler Won’t Know Doody’s Position Until November
I’m a grown man, but I’m also on vacation.
Defendant Votes on His Own Indictment
Grand jury proceedings are secret, so I guess we’ll never know which way he voted.
Defendant Says His Lawyer Lied; Asks Him for Help Remembering What the Lies Were
Oddly, the lawyer failed to identify any of the alleged misrepresentations.
Missouri’s Governor Appointed to Represent Criminal Defendant
He is a lawyer, but apparently he’s not willing to serve.
Judge Challenges Defendant to Knit Her Way Out of Jail
A sentence that has been called “crewel and unusual punishment,” though not by me.
Pond Ruins Yet Another Getaway
A story that’s a little more mysterious than it sounds.