Captain Justice Responds to Government’s Motion to Ban the Word “Government”
Terrific.
Criminal
Officer Who Pepper-Sprayed UC Davis Students Is Awarded $38,000
Here’s a question for you: Of those involved in the incident below— —who would you say should receive more money as a result? the student being sprayed in the face the police officer spraying her all the students should get…
Police Called to Investigate Breakroom Jell-O Theft
The Smoking Gun reported on October 11 that a Pennsylvania man fed up with people stealing his snacks out of the refrigerator at work decided to report the matter to the authorities. According to the police report obtained by TSG, the man…
No, Twerking Is Not Illegal
According to numerous reports, the mayor of DeQuincy, Louisiana, made "twerking" illegal recently after the horrific display of it by what's-her-name at the MTV Awards brought it to his attention. The dance move is a "defiant act against Jesus," Mayor…
O.J. Simpson Actually Not Guilty of Something
At least according to the Nevada Department of Corrections.
UPDATE: Hiccup Girl Convicted of Murder
Jennifer Mee originally became semi-famous in 2007 when she had hiccups that lasted for months and sometimes hit a frequency of 50 hiccups per minute. (They eventually stopped by themselves.) She became more semi-famous three years later when she was…
Canada’s Long National Nightmare Is Over: Last Maple-Syrup Pirate Arrested
"To the delight of headline writers everywhere," said The Economist last week, "it appeared a maple-syrup mob was involved" in the theft of six million pounds of the stuff from the Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve last fall. Yes, that…
Jesse Jackson Jr.’s Off to Jail—So Everything Must Go!
You have until September 26 to bid on some of the personal items that former congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. and his wife bought with campaign funds. Turns out you're actually not supposed to buy personal items with campaign funds, so they…
House Stabbed
Resting comfortably A Seattle-area home is said to be recovering from a knife wound it suffered sometime late Sunday night, according to KOMO News. Police believe the home was stabbed by a man who was angry over his belief that the…
Lousy War-on-Terror Arguments Used to Justify Preemptive Strike Against Neighbors
Well, this has just leapt into contention for Argument of the Year: "I think legally that term has sort of been evolving especially given changes of our government’s definition of 'imminent,'" attorney Robert Berry, who is representing Woodward, told Florida…