Criminal

Mullets Sentenced for Beard Crimes

Amish gang leader Samuel Mullet, Sr., three of his sons and 12 others were sentenced to prison terms today for a series of attacks against other Ohio Amish that Mullet believed were enemies of his group, which prosecutors described as…


“Aggressive Pizza-Stealing Dog” Makes Bail

Ruthlessly devoured helpless pie A dog that was arrested in Oregon yesterday after being accused of "breaking into" a family's vehicle and aggressively "devouring" their pepperoni pizza has been released, according to an updated report today. Officials in Marion County…




Bad Disguise #7: Bucket on Head

The first problem here is that while a bucket will indeed conceal your face, and quite effectively, that's also where your eyes are. (In both senses: in your face and inside the bucket.) That is, the bucket cannot perform the…


Scooby Doo, Where Are You? More Importantly, Where Are Your Pants?

From the police blotter, Fremont, California, January 8, 2013: IH # 13002139 Suspicious Circumstance  At approximately 4:25 a.m., witnesses called to report a suspicious male running through the parking lot of Lucky's on the 38400 block of Mowry Ave. They…


Gang of Smurfs Facing Assault Charges

Police in Melbourne say they believe the four Smurf impostors, three of whom are seen below in a 7-Eleven security-cam photo, assaulted a man about 1 a.m. on December 16 after first asking him for a cigarette. A quick search…


DUI: Christmas Float

The float departed a parade at high speed, with the dance team it was carrying still on board.


Three Arrested in Connection With Maple-Syrup Heist

According to sources in Quebec, the Regional Investigation Division of Sûreté du Québec proceeded with three arrests this morning in relation to the maple-syrup theft at Saint-Louis-de-Blandford between August 1, 2011, and July 30, 2012. Or, put another way: la Division…


How to Finally Get Some Work Done: Kidnap a Handyman

I guess it was more the false imprisonment that got the work done. The kidnapping per se didn't happen until the end of his "shift." The San Francisco Chronicle reports that a couple in Santa Clara (south of SF) was arrested this…