TIP: Middle Finger to Judge Probably Contempt of Court
Especially unwise at a bail hearing, I think.
Criminal
Axe-Wielding Hitchhiker Dude Saves Lady From Fake Jesus
For once the dude with the hatchet is the good guy. The dude, identified only as "Kai," said a driver who had given him a ride near Fresno began claiming to be Jesus—generally a good time to ask your driver…
Bad Disguise #7: Bucket on Head
The first problem here is that while a bucket will indeed conceal your face, and quite effectively, that's also where your eyes are. (In both senses: in your face and inside the bucket.) That is, the bucket cannot perform the…
Scooby Doo, Where Are You? More Importantly, Where Are Your Pants?
From the police blotter, Fremont, California, January 8, 2013: IH # 13002139 Suspicious Circumstance At approximately 4:25 a.m., witnesses called to report a suspicious male running through the parking lot of Lucky's on the 38400 block of Mowry Ave. They…
Gang of Smurfs Facing Assault Charges
Police in Melbourne say they believe the four Smurf impostors, three of whom are seen below in a 7-Eleven security-cam photo, assaulted a man about 1 a.m. on December 16 after first asking him for a cigarette. A quick search…
DUI: Christmas Float
The float departed a parade at high speed, with the dance team it was carrying still on board.
Three Arrested in Connection With Maple-Syrup Heist
According to sources in Quebec, the Regional Investigation Division of Sûreté du Québec proceeded with three arrests this morning in relation to the maple-syrup theft at Saint-Louis-de-Blandford between August 1, 2011, and July 30, 2012. Or, put another way: la Division…
How to Finally Get Some Work Done: Kidnap a Handyman
I guess it was more the false imprisonment that got the work done. The kidnapping per se didn't happen until the end of his "shift." The San Francisco Chronicle reports that a couple in Santa Clara (south of SF) was arrested this…
If I Am Captured, This Blog Will Continue
If I am captured, this blog will continue. I have pre-written enough material to keep this blog alive for at least a year. In addition, the administrator, Chad, will continue to monitor comments. He will administer the reward and post…
Man Charged With Aggravated Weirdness
A 23-year-old man was arrested in Oregon on November 26 after "acting suspiciously" in a bank. "Acting suspiciously" is not illegal, normally, but it sounds like they are making an exception in this case. Employees said the man entered the bank wearing…