The Great Totem Pole Caper
A daring daylight theft.
Criminal
Judges Still Not Amused by Identical-Twin Hijinks [Updated]
I've never thought the whole identical-twins-switch-places thing was all that amusing, and I might even rank it one step below its leprous cousin, the inexplicably frequent parent-child-body-swap farce. And that's when Hollywood does it. It's even less likely to go…
Dear Jerry Sandusky’s Lawyers: Please Stop Talking
Tuesday: HARRISBURG, Pa. (WHTM) – A Carlisle attorney who has joined Jerry Sandusky’s defense team says the former Penn State assistant football coach may have showered with young boys because the children lacked basic hygiene skills. * * * “Teaching a…
Anybody Else Willing to Represent Jerry Sandusky?
Because, although I'm not a criminal-defense attorney, I'm not sure this guy is doing such a great job. To be fair, I guess at least one of these three decisions is not terrible: First, he allowed his client to talk…
Man Accused of Weasel-Related Assault is Acquitted
The Seattle Times, which proudly and rightfully boasts that it is the "Winner of Eight Pulitzer Prizes," will not win another one for its coverage of this story, I'm sorry to say. But this December 7 report did at least…
Pope Sued
According to the German newspaper Westfälische Rundschau, a new lawsuit asks the question, "Gilt auf dem Papst Benedikt XVI die Anschnallpflicht im Papamobil?" If like me you don't speak German, that apparently means something like, "Is the Pope legally required…
Man Sues Couple He Kidnapped
“The couple gained [their kidnapper’s] trust by eating Cheetos and drinking Dr. Pepper with him while watching the movie ‘Patch Adams.'” Then, they violated that trust.
Note: Before Attaching Ankle Monitor, Make Sure Leg Is Real
Because if the leg is detachable, that defeats the purpose of attaching a monitor to it. Unless your goal is to keep track of the leg, in which case no problem, but normally that's not what you're after. In August, The…
Accused Celebrity Smuggler Cleared After 25 “Closely Monitored” Bowel Movements
Well, this is ridiculous all around.
How You Know When Your Supreme Court Argument Is Going Poorly
Here’s one way: a justice asks you whether you have considered “just confessing error in this case.” Another piece of advice: once the number of justices who have told you to drop a particular argument reaches five, you might as…