The Have-Lunch-Nearby Getaway Plan Is Still Not Working
Order a big meal while you have a chance.
Criminal
How to Get Back at Your Ex: First, Kill a Bear
Kind of a big first step, actually.
Police Skeptical of Suspect’s Claim to Be Invisible
Here's some free advice. If you find yourself telling someone that you are "invisible" and "unstoppable," and the person you are telling that to is a police officer, you are neither one of those things. I guess that's really all there…
Saudi King Cancels Whipping of Female Driver
The king of Saudi Arabia, who has been making some reforms in an effort to drag that country firmly into the 17th century, has overturned the punishment handed out to Shaima Jastaina, convicted of the unholy crime of "driving without…
California Authorities Still Puzzled by Mystery Enema
The lesson here is that if somebody shows up unannounced and proposes this kind of thing, don’t just assume your doctor sent her.
Man Demands Hot Sauce at Gunpoint
As we've seen many times, it is rarely a good idea to take the law into your own hands, even in response to the most dastardly outrages such as an inexplicable condiment omission. And yet it continues to happen. On…
Jail Time for Overdue Library Books
The Smoking Gun has the story of a 28-year-old Iowa man now serving ten days in jail for failing to return library books and other items he had checked out from the Newton Public Library. He pleaded guilty last week to a…
Pantless Objection to Topless Protest
I guess it's not quite "Headless Body in Topless Bar," but it's as close as I'm likely to get. At least the story behind this headline is much more pleasant, if almost as baffling. Police in Asheville, North Carolina, said…
Convicted Killer Headed Back to Law School
Looks like stabbing somebody 33 times isn’t necessarily a disqualifier.
Joe Francis Arrested Yet Again
You know, I'm starting to think that Joe Francis has no respect for either women or the law. Francis, the creator of Girls Gone Wild, or as Gawker.com once described him, the "alleged arm-twisting sexual aggressor and loathsome Girls Gone…