Headline of the Day: “Man Says Weed in Buttocks Is His, Cocaine’s Not”
“Who put that cocaine in there?”
Criminal
Update: Caffeine/Sleep-Deprivation Defense Fails
Reports last week were that the lawyer for Woody Will Smith would argue that Smith was not responsible for murdering his wife because he had done so while suffering from a "brief psychosis" due to lack of sleep and heavy…
Good Reason to Kill # 10: Posted “Ugly Baby” Comment on Facebook
If you need another reason not to use Facebook, here's one: your "friends" may not stay safely on the Internet. Here's another: some of them may be really touchy about their ugly babies. Obviously, all new babies are ugly. I…
Not Guilty by Reason of Caffeine
Reports today say that a 33-year-old Kentucky man will argue in his murder trial this week that he should be found not guilty of killing his wife because he was under the influence of caffeine at the time. Woody Smith's…
Banjo Wielded
I concede this one is at least slightly off-topic, but I'm going to post it anyway. It's breaking news from my hometown of Kansas City: Charges filed in Overland Park banjo self-defense case Police say the Monday banjo blow to…
Yet Another Reason Not to Wrestle Your Snake in the Parking Lot
The Associated Press reports that "[t]wo men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald's spotted them wrestling a 5-foot (1.5 meter) python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police [in Melbourne] said Thursday." I don't think the diners…
High-Risk Anti-Theft Strategy Pays Off
This is not a strategy that I can recommend, but it did work this time. When Russell Stuart heard his car start up in his driveway very early one morning, he realized it was being stolen and reacted immediately. "I…
One Wounded in Man-Bat Fracas
What is the world coming to when a man can't take the steps necessary to defend his home and family from mammalian invaders? Ask Cedric Newton, who was charged last week with reckless discharge of a firearm simply for trying to…
Burglar/Entrepreneur Breaks In, Holds Garage Sale
Police in Sarnia, Ontario, said they had arrested the man who broke into a home there in June and then spent the day holding a garage sale in which he sold off the owner's property. The homeowner, Greg Kemmis, was…
Banana Seized
There are the usual unfortunate banana-related puns in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's report on this incident, and I am sparing you those, but it does contain the excellent sentence: "The banana costume was seized as evidence." The incident also involved shotgun-brandishing and…