San Francisco Jury Struggles With Whether Bear Was “Disturbed”
Hard to define, but you know it when you see it.
Criminal
Balloon Parents to Plead Guilty
They will apparently not be charged for their reality-TV-show appearances, unfortunately.
Jury Finds Florida Man Was Not “Too Fat to Kill”
Edward Ates "looked down and shook his head in court" as he listened to the jury's verdict against him on November 6. As he did, his ponderous jowls wobbled slowly from side to side. Or, at least, ponderous and wobbly jowls would…
Alleged Car-Stealer Charged With Stealing Car to Get to Hearing on Car-Stealing Charges
The California Highway Patrol got a report of a stolen car on November 3 and were able to track it down quickly because it was equipped with LoJack. They found it parked near a courthouse in Vallejo, about a 30-minute…
Latest Bad Disguise(s): Drawing on Your Face With a Sharpie
I have to go back and make sure my numbering is consistent, but I think these would be Bad Disguises Numbers 6 and 7: I am going to count these as two Bad Disguises even though they are fundamentally based on the…
Blagojevich Can Appear on “Celebrity Apprentice,” Says Judge
A federal judge has ruled that former Illinois governor and loony pseudo-celebrity Rod Blagojevich can indeed appear on "Celebrity Apprentice" in March. U.S. District Judge James Zagel decided on October 20 not to block Blagojevich from appearing on the show,…
Halloween Breathalyzer Costume Results in What I Believe to Be Irony
As we learned from Alanis Morrisette, irony is a tricky concept, so I have looked up the definition: irony, n. 1. A figure of speech in which the intended meaning is the opposite of that expressed by the words used;…
Gang Member to Get Makeover for Trial, Says Attorney
"Clothes make the man, and a mustache couldn't hurt either," will apparently be the trial theme in Richard Rodriguez's case against the city of El Monte, California. Rodriguez sued the city in July, alleging that a police officer used excessive…
FAA Investigating Balloon-Boy Case; Balloon Dad Prepares for Apocalypse
Lawyer speculates Balloon Dad wanted to make a lot of money in a hurry because the world was about to end.
“Grand Theft Auto” Insanity Defense Fails Again
I know this has been tried before, and I'd be surprised if it has ever worked, but it didn't work this time. In an opinion issued on October 14, the California Court of Appeal held that an insanity plea to…