Defendant Gone Wild
"He has put a lot of this foolish behavior behind him," said Joe Francis's lawyer in 2007, but guess what? He had plenty left. Back then, Mr. Francis, who some of you may know as the purveyor of "Girls Gone Wild" videos,…
Criminal
“I’m With The CIA” Defense Fails Again
Whether or not this defense will work in the context of possible prosecutions for torture enhanced interrogation techniques remains to be seen, but it does not seem likely to help dodge a speeding ticket. Sources reported today that a man caught speeding in Hawkins…
Man Who Posed As Lawyer “Seemed To Know What He Was Talking About,” Say Colleagues
Howard Kieffer practiced law for years in at least ten different states, specializing in federal criminal defense. That seems like an impressive number of states until you learn that he did not all get bogged down in taking the bar…
Cat Blamed For Pornography
Police in Florida say a man accused of possessing child pornography has claimed that his cat downloaded the material while he was in the other room. The officers immediately apologized for the intrusion and everyone laughed about the crazy things…
Jefferson Convicted of Bribery, Storing Cash in Freezer
Frozen assets! Get it?
Robber in Gorilla Suit Foiled by Worker With Meat Cleaver
Police in Conway, Florida, reported that a worker at Jimmy's Japanese Hibachi was taking out the trash last Monday night when a man in a gorilla suit appeared and punched him in the head. The worker fled into the restaurant,…
Bank Teller Fired For Catching Robber
Jim Nicholson, a bank teller in Seattle, heroically chased and subdued a man who tried to rob his bank last Tuesday. On Thursday his employer, Key Bank, somewhat less heroically fired him. Nicholson was working when a man in sunglasses…
Punch Another Monopoly Player, Go Directly to Jail
Thou shalt not pass Go.
Swine-Flu Defense Fails In DUI Case
Back in the day, as I recall, we blamed (or tried to blame) el Niño for pretty much everything, but now it seems to be swine flu – I mean, the H1N1 virus. At least, blaming H1N1 is apparently all the rage in…
Nevada Supreme Court to Pretend to Consider Bail for O.J.
Nevada's highest court (and its only appellate court) will hear oral argument on August 3 as to whether O.J. Simpson should be allowed to go free on bond while he appeals his conviction for that gun-waving memorabilia negotiation he conducted…