Swine-Flu Defense Fails In DUI Case
Back in the day, as I recall, we blamed (or tried to blame) el Niño for pretty much everything, but now it seems to be swine flu – I mean, the H1N1 virus. At least, blaming H1N1 is apparently all the rage in…
Criminal
Nevada Supreme Court to Pretend to Consider Bail for O.J.
Nevada's highest court (and its only appellate court) will hear oral argument on August 3 as to whether O.J. Simpson should be allowed to go free on bond while he appeals his conviction for that gun-waving memorabilia negotiation he conducted…
Honesty Maybe Not The Best Policy If It Involves You And A 14-Year-Old
In June, the Salt Lake Tribune reported that a 23-year-old driver who had been pulled over for failing to use his blinker was arrested after volunteering the fact that, in addition to not being so good with turn signals, he…
Meat Thieves Captured
Police in Spokane, Washington, reported last week that they had arrested the ringleader of a meat-stealing operation that has plagued stores in the area for some time. Christopher Webber was booked last Thursday on charges of "leading organized crime." Specifically,…
Weapons Conviction Thrown Out Due to Counsel’s Napping, Magazine Reading
On June 15, a New York judge set aside a conviction on the grounds that the defendant's attorney had provided ineffective assistance of counsel. For future reference, your lawyer may be providing ineffective assistance if he or she is sleeping…
When To Give Up Crime
When you are beaten and subdued by two 19-year-old Hooters girls. This is a relatively clear sign that you are in the wrong line of work. Last month in Loganville, Georgia, a 40-year-old man saw two girls walk into a…
Trail of Chewing-Tobacco Spit Leads to Thieves
Not directly, but still.
Muslim Clerics Issue Cell-Phone Fatwa
A panel of Muslim clerics in northern India have issued a fatwa prohibiting the use of cellphones, at least in certain un-Islamic ways. If they will extend this to the BlackBerry, I might be willing to convert. A fatwa, you may…
Will Perry Mason Defend Himself?
The Associated Press reported yesterday that Perry Mason had been charged with felony barratry in Texas, a crime that carries a penalty of up to ten years in jail. "Barratry" is the dastardly crime committed when a non-attorney solicits clients for a…
Rambo Cupid Fires Arrows Around Minnesota Neighborhood
Police in Burnsville, Minnesota, said that Kyle Fletcher went out onto his patio deck on April 3 with a powerful compound bow and fired several arrows into neighboring homes in an effort to impress a woman. Police found arrows embedded in…