4th Amendment Underclothes
These guys are offering underwear with the text of the Fourth Amendment printed over your classified areas in metallic ink, so the creeps at the TSA have to at least glance at it when scanning you. It's a great idea,…
Homeland Insecurity
Dance Troupe Mistaken for Terrorists
On November 17th, the Lincoln Tunnel was closed for nearly an hour while police chased a group of people dressed in camouflage who were seen running through the tunnel. Officers of the FBI-NYPD Joint Terrorism Task Force as well as…
More Things “TSA” Might Stand For
It looks like my claim to "Trouser Search Administration" is safe, but as this video shows, there are so many other good alternatives I won't get too excited about that one in particular. Given some of the increasing number of…
TSA: Trouser Search Administration
Credit where credit is due: as I have said before, I think “Thousands Standing Around” is hilariously funny, but if nobody has suggested “Trouser Search Administration” yet I am hereby staking my claim to that one. This excellent post by Colin Samuels has…
TSA: No Spear Guns in Carry-On Baggage, Please
While I was checking to make sure that toner cartridges and snow globes are still banned from airplanes (they are), I noticed that there are lots of other things that are also not allowed in your carry-on bags. In fact,…
Assorted Stupidity #8
Not sure which is worse: referring to one of these as a "rigid feminine pleasure device," or attacking a cop with one. The Chicago Tribune reported that the RFPD assault took place when an officer visited a woman's home to…
NORAD: “Missile” No Threat to Nation, as Far as You Know
This is pretty far off-topic, but I got interested in it for possibly obvious reasons, so I will go ahead and mention it. The government has issued a statement saying that it doesn't know what this thing was, but that whatever it…
Feds: Body-Scanner Images Cannot Be Saved, Except for These 35,000
Previously: "The machines have zero storage capability," and there is "no way to save, transmit, or print the image." August 4: "[A]pproximately 35,314 images . . . have been stored" on just one machine at one federal courthouse in Florida,…
Department of Homeland Security Deploys Ogre-Protection Force
Please fill in the blank in the following sentence, which recently came out of the mouth of John Morton, Assistant Secretary for Homeland Security: The reason the Department of Homeland Security is protecting ______ is because we are all about…
U.S. Pilot Detained in Rio After Dropping Pants at Checkpoint
In June, United Airlines pilot Michael Slynn was briefly detained at the airport in Rio de Janeiro after he dropped his pants at a security checkpoint. According to the report, Slynn was asked to remove his belt and shoes, and…