To: My SecretaryFrom: MeDate: TodayRe: You Not Calling in Bomb Threats on My Behalf As you know, I habitually run late for everything, especially air travel. It has come to my attention that other people's assistants…
As I have argued before, the absence of hijackings since 9/11 is almost certainly not due to the unenhanced security provided by the Transportation Security Administration, which daily protects our nation’s planes from the threat of oversized nail clippers, undeclared…
United Nations officials in New York said they were "still trying to find out exactly what happened" to enable a man dressed as Colonel Harlan Sanders to get past security and into the UN building on October 22. Reports suggested that…
Hardened Delaware criminal and recent Cub Scout recruit Zachary Christie faces 45 days in reform school for bringing a camping utensil to school. School officials decided that the utensil, which combines knife, fork and spoon, violated the district’s “zero-tolerance” policy….
This one is really pretty straightforward. The bank requires a thumbprint before cashing a check for anyone who does not have an account there. Steve Valdez did not have an account, but he also has no thumbs. The bank rejected…
A high school in Montrose, Michigan, offers what sounds like a pretty cool class in forensic science. Over the past several years the class has included a surprise event in which people portraying masked gunmen stage a mock robbery, and the…
The New York Times reported recently on a Government Accountability Office study finding that people whose names appear on the ginormous and ever-expanding "terrorist watch list" have had little trouble buying guns and explosives. The GAO found that those on…
Jesse Ventura, who said he was waterboarded as part of his military training, on whether torture works: I'll put it to you this way: You give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to…
The Transportation Security Administration, taking a break from its critical shoe-removal and water-bottle-disposal duties, has told the mule-skinners at Hugh Moore Park that they must comply with strict post-9/11 security measures by applying for high-tech biometric Transportation Worker Identification Credentials….
Canadian asks U.S. border guard to say “please,” Canadian gets faceful of pepper spray. It’s a fairly simple equation. I think this is in the USA PATRIOT Act, actually. The man conceded he had made the request for politeness “repeatedly,” but opined…