Thief Wedgied
Tighten your belt before trying to steal anything from the Brickyard Animal Hospital in Salt Lake, at least while Yvonne Morris is on duty. Police said Morris spotted a man breaking into a co-worker’s car in the parking lot, and…
Law Enforcement
Chicago Police Discover (Eventually) That 14-Year-Old Isn’t Real Officer
A Chicago boy has been charged with impersonating a police officer after he successfully impersonated a police officer for several hours, despite being only 14 years old. To clarify, he fooled other police officers, not just the public. The boy,…
Cardboard Criminals, or, Paper Perpetrators
On December 3, authorities in Reading, Pennsylvania, reported that a man disguised as a paper plate tried to rob a local gas station. According to a report in the Morning Call, "[t]he caper began near Reading when a man wearing…
China Executes Fraudulent Ant-Breeder
In another reminder not to do anything at all wrong in China, state media reported last week that a businessman who had been convicted of fraud in connection with a "bogus ant-breeding scheme" had been executed. The Xinhua News Agency…
Florida Cops Taser Naked Dog-Walker; Claim It Was “The Only Way”
Some say that Tasers are a step forward because it is good for police to have more non-lethal options, while some argue that they are too risky because police tend to resort to the Taser even when it isn’t really…
Officer: Sex With Hookers Was Part of My Job, Unenjoyable
An officer who was suspended from the Beaumont, Texas, police department for having sex with prostitutes while on duty testified that he did so only because it was part of his job, and that he certainly did not enjoy it….
Amateur Ninjas Say They Were Sending “Message to Drug Dealers”
The message: We are idiots.
ACLU Says It Will Go To Bat For Mullets If Necessary
Important mullet guidance also provided.
UPDATE: Police Chief Says Low Pants Are Probable Cause for Search
It appears that Chief of Police David Dicks is still pursuing his campaign to keep pants from sagging in Flint, Michigan, as he announced back on June 25. Dicks described the wearing of low pants as "immoral self-expression" (which makes…
Woman Denied Beer at Convenience Store
A 74-year-old woman was denied the right to buy beer at a convenience store in Norwalk, California, the Associated Press has reported. Granted, this happened after she had driven her car through the front window and into the store, but…