Lawsuits (Unlikely)

God’s Class Action Dismissed

Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered. Luke 11:52 (KJV) Well, the Lord’s lawsuit against all similarly situated homosexuals lasted just…



How Did That Taster’s Choice Case Turn Out?

I mentioned Christoff v. Nestlé the other day—you know, the case where the guy was surprised to see his face on the Taster's Choice coffee label and ended up getting $15 million for it—and someone wrote me to ask how…


Utah Court Says Woman Can Sue Herself

You might not consider Utah the most progressive state, but it has become the first to grant its citizens a controversial right that many have long been denied, proving that the law does evolve. Utah has now become the first…


Jury Finds for Rick Springfield in Buttocks-Assault Case

A jury in Syracuse needed just 61 minutes to deliberate on this one, making it all the more puzzling to me why Rick Springfield’s attorneys thought they needed a mistrial the first time around. As you may recall, Vicki Calcagno…


Expert: Invitation to Child’s Party Not Enforceable

The BBC asked its legal correspondent to weigh in on the case of Alex Nash, the five-year-old who was billed £15.95 for failing to show up for a friend's birthday party. Although the party organizers (the friend's parents) have allegedly…


Kirby Delauter, Sherbert Deluder

I'm a little late to this party, but I didn't want to pass up a chance to mention Kirby Delauter, the county councilman who threatened to sue the Frederick News-Post if it used his name without his permission. It not only…


Court Suggests Plaintiff Could Have Grounded His Brain

A statement in a judicial opinion that isn't necessary to the holding is called a dictum (pl. dicta), and isn't technically binding (though it may or may not be persuasive). Here's a good example of that from a 1976 federal case (thanks,…


Woman Alleges Vicious Beagle Slain by Noble Pit Bulls

But not before it bit her, and that's why she's suing the beagle's owners for over $200,000. First of all, I don't think this is one of those cases that involves the debate whether pit bulls are inherently vicious or…


UPDATE: Rick Springfield’s Butt Will Face Retrial

You will be pleased to know that the plaintiff who accuses Rick Springfield of assaulting her with his butt has not given up despite an earlier mistrial. According to the Syracuse Post-Standard, lawyers for Springfield and plaintiff Vicki Calcagno were back in court…