Judge Dismisses Incomprehensible, Pointless Pile of Papers
Not a generic headline.
Lawsuits
Man Locked in Burger King Bathroom for an Hour Wants Free Whoppers for Life
Before you judge, know that the restroom was allegedly “dank.”
Plaintiff Blames Fall on Free Drinks He May or May Not Have Consumed
Under the circumstances, I think he might as well sue gravity.
Rejected Applicant Sues Law Schools for Violating Magna Carta
Among other things. Many other things.
UPDATE: Judge Rules Province Has No Duty to Recognize Bigfoot
British Columbia, at least, is off the hook.
Province’s Lawyers Claim Bigfoot Case “Lacks an Air of Reality”
It’s Canada, so they were pretty polite about it.
Plaintiffs Allege They Were “Forced” to Buy Quarter Pounders
If this complaint had some delicious cheese melted over it, it might have at least some merit.
Huang v. Hollywood
Alleging a conspiracy that apparently involved most of Hollywood, plus Monica Lewinsky, Mark Zuckerberg, and the Dalai Lama.
“Justice for Simon”: Giant-Rabbit Case Survives Motion to Dismiss
This case needs to go to trial for the expert testimony alone. The court owes it to the public.
Short-Subway-Sandwich Settlement Stupid, Says Seventh Circuit
It also called the settlement “utterly worthless,” but those words don’t begin with an S.