The Inexplicable


THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

A woman defended herself with a "pooper scooper" for nearly half an hour while a man tried to hit her with another pooper scooper in Plymouth Pillars Park early Thursday, according to the Seattle Police Department. There don't appear to…


It’s Not the Droids We’re Looking For, Actually

Obiwan Kenobi, who it seems ended up retiring to Roseville, California, was arrested on Saturday after an investigation pointed to him as the alleged culprit in a hit-and-run. Kenobi fled the scene, presumably leaving behind only an empty robe that officers…



Invisible Man Fails to Appear

Artist's Impression In February, a 28-year-old Georgia man called 911 to report that he was invisible. According to the Barrow Patch, paramedics and a deputy with the Barrow County Sheriff's Office responded to the call on February 17. The paramedics…



Nor Can the Court Order Specific Performance

[O]ne of the central recurring assertions in Washington’s pleadings is that his genitals are shrinking and prison officials are responsible for this process. Indeed, Washington’s prior complaints have, inter alia, requested that we reverse the process and restore him to his former stature, something that…


Strange Doings in Colorado

From the police blotter for Highland Ranch/Lone Tree, Colorado: A little further down, there's a report of an apparent burglary — though no money was taken — at a "Cheeburger Cheeburger" restaurant. Coincidence? The same list includes the reported theft…


Cross That One Off the List

According to the Butte Montana Convention and Visitors Bureau, the Butte area "abounds with outdoor recreation opportunities." It probably does, but apparently it's still possible to get bored there. The Montana Standard reports that a 55-year-old man was charged this week…


Florida Man Calls for Backup in TV Gunfight

A man in Pasco County, Florida, called 911 at about 1 a.m. on January 24 after he heard a commotion and then gunshots in his living room. Hiding behind his bed after grabbing his own gun, Alan Benz told dispatchers he…