Government Report on Reports About Reports Recommends Another Report
A brief report on a report of a government report that recommended a report on existing reports.
The Inexplicable
US Air Bomb Hoax Involves Lots of Stupidity All Around
Hey, you know what'd be a hilarious prank? Calling the airport to claim (falsely) that a specific traveler is trying to get liquid explosives past the TSA and onto a plane. If the plane has already left, they'll probably turn…
You People Quit Bothering Goat Man
Goat Man, Lurkin' "The sighting of a man dressed in a goat suit on a Utah mountain is causing concern among state wildlife officials," begins this report on the recent sighting of a man dressed in a goat suit on…
Joe Francis Is Following Me [Updated]
Normally that phrase is being uttered in a panicked whisper during a 911 call, or possibly as part of a desperate, high-pitched shriek, but luckily here it only refers to Twitter: This is a little puzzling since Joe and I…
Another Incident of Taco-Related Violence
Filled with danger Hot on the heels of this weekend's news that somebody tried to run over another person for canceling a taco order comes this report that a 23-year-old man crashed his truck into a Taco Bell after it failed…
Tips on Wearing the Clothes You Just Stole from Next Door
Here are the three that occurred to me right off the bat: Don't wear any of them right away. Don't wear any distinctive items if the owner still lives next door. Should you choose to ignore #1 and #2, don't…
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
A woman defended herself with a "pooper scooper" for nearly half an hour while a man tried to hit her with another pooper scooper in Plymouth Pillars Park early Thursday, according to the Seattle Police Department. There don't appear to…
It’s Not the Droids We’re Looking For, Actually
Obiwan Kenobi, who it seems ended up retiring to Roseville, California, was arrested on Saturday after an investigation pointed to him as the alleged culprit in a hit-and-run. Kenobi fled the scene, presumably leaving behind only an empty robe that officers…
Just Two Weeks Until Lawyers’ Time-Travel Seminar [Updated]
Unless it has already happened, or will have happened, or … I don’t know.
Invisible Man Fails to Appear
Artist's Impression In February, a 28-year-old Georgia man called 911 to report that he was invisible. According to the Barrow Patch, paramedics and a deputy with the Barrow County Sheriff's Office responded to the call on February 17. The paramedics…