UPDATE: “Balloon Boy” Saga Is Now a Musical
Oh good.
The Inexplicable
Anybody Missing a Coffin Full of Weapons?
Turns out you left it in Volusia County, Florida, or one of your accomplices did, anyway: Photo: Volusia County Sheriff's Office Head down there anytime to pick it up, although the local sheriff's department would like to speak with you…
Baby Walks
According to Newsweek Pakistan: A court on Saturday threw out charges of attempted murder against a nine-month-old baby, in a case that highlighted endemic flaws in Pakistan’s legal system and provoked widespread ridicule. The former suspect's bail application has also…
Baby Fingerprinted
Just a quick follow-up to "Baby Indicted" (April 4): Photo: Agence-France Presse, Getty Images He's apparently being fingerprinted by Steve Carell, and frankly this would have made a lot more sense if it had been on an episode of The Office….
Insurers Demand $2 Million for Negligent Squirrel-Torching
You did what?
Baby Indicted
It’s about time we started holding infants responsible.
Customers Who Viewed The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance Also Viewed….
As I've mentioned, and as many of you noticed independently, for some time the only thing Amazon found in response to a search for "emergency sasquatch ordinance" was The Booty Call Kit ("The Emergency Kit For When Booty Happens!" which…
Court Finds Fan Club Members Were Harmed by Michael Jackson’s Death
"As far as I know," said the plaintiffs' lawyer, "this is the first time in the world that the notion of emotional damage in connection with a pop star has been recognized." He meant legally recognized, because who hasn't suffered some sort…
Look, Just Because You Think of Something, You Don’t Have to Patent It
Here's a good example of that proposition: Design patent D697,706 was, for some reason, issued last week to someone in Brooklyn. It claims only the ornamental design of the handle, not the umbrella part or the whole creepy assemblage. Ridiculous patents…
Be on the Lookout
From the police blotter in Jefferson County, Colorado: Suspect yells "hot dog," throws one. On December 26 an employee of Subway … told Jefferson County sheriff's deputies that he was in the store when a man came in and yelled…