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Man’s Life Ruined by Naked Breakdancing at Soccer Match

34-year-old Mark Hargreaves was fined this week and banned from soccer matches after he admitted that he had run naked onto a soccer pitch in Burnley, Scotland, and proceeded to breakdance naked in front of thousands of fans and millions…


SUV Comically Destroyed in Fiery Crash

San Francisco police said they would cite Jonathan Fish for a misdemeanor in connection with the destruction of his 2004 Ford Expedition on Thursday, February 17. Apparently, it is a misdemeanor in San Francisco to toss a burning cigarette onto…


Police Put Clamp on Injured Man’s Ambulance Until Fine is Paid

A spokeswoman for Dublin International Airport announced today that in the future, airport police will exempt emergency vehicles from their policy of booting, or clamping, any vehicle parked in an emergency-vehicle zone. The change follows a recent incident in which…


Thai Sex Tycoon Smashes Bathtub to Prove Fitness for Office

Chuvit Kamolvisit, known in Thailand as “Tycoon Tub” for the chain of massage parlor/sex shops that made him rich, staged a flamboyant public spectacle on Friday after his election to parliament, saying he was ritually cleansing himself of his former…


Yet Another Flatulent-Shoe Lawsuit

Goosebumps Products, Inc., a Florida manufacturer of shoe insoles, sued one of its suppliers on Wednesday for sending it a defective chemical that caused gas bubbles to form inside the finished product, so that when worn and stepped upon the…


Let’s Trim Our Hair According to Socialist Lifestyle

Yes, let’s trim it, or else, comrade. The latest obsession of tiny, bizarre, and now nuclear-armed North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il is the length of his people’s hair. Starting last October, the government launched a campaign to force all…


Dog Fetches at Wrong Time

Training your dog well can come back to haunt you, as Matt Porter of Richland Hills, Texas, found out on Monday. Porter, his friend Micah Hays, and another man had been stopped by Officer Cris Brichetto on Monday afternoon at…


L.A. Jury’s Mistake A Mere $1.8 Billion

The latest reason to perhaps tinker with the jury system a bit comes to you (again) from sunny Los Angeles, where a jury awarded $1.8 billion (and change) to class members who had sued a Manhattan Beach man for fraud….


Healthy Woman Evicted from Hospital Bed After Year-Long Stay

A Marin Superior Court judge ruled on Wednesday that Sarah Nome could be legally evicted from the hospital bed she has been occupying since January 2004. Nome, who is 82, was admitted to the Kaiser Permanente facility in San Rafael,…


Man Who Tried to Kill Pope Wishes Pope Swift Recovery

Mehmet Ali Agca, who shot Pope John Paul II in 1981, sent the Pope a letter this week wishing him a quick recovery from his recent breathing problems. Agca was writing from a jail cell in Turkey, where he was…