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2008 Lowering the Bar Awards

Now that 2008 is over, we can finally close the books on it and maybe try to evaluate some of the nonsense spawned during it. The following are my selections for those people and/or events that may have Lowered the Bar the…


Batman Reportedly Planning to File Bat-Complaint

Variety Magazine reported last month that the mayor of Batman, a city in southeastern Turkey, is preparing a lawsuit against Warner Bros. and Christopher Nolan, the director of the two most recent "Batman" movies.  The mayor alleges that the filmmakers…


D.C. Court Hears Argument in Appeal of Pants Case

Roy Pearson Jr., who is on the verge of getting his own category here, was in the D.C. Court of Appeals on October 22 to argue for the reinstatement of his $54-million lawsuit against the dry cleaners who he says lost…



San Francisco Superior Court Is Victim of Hit-and-Run

Legal Pad reported yesterday that officials at SF Superior Court are trying to figure out who has to pay for damage to the courthouse apparently caused by a hit-and-run driver earlier this month. Trust me, there is no point in…


If Great Literary Works Had Been Written by Lawyers

These essays were written and published in 1999 and 2000 respectively.  They appeared in the law journal The Green Bag, and led to a writeup in the Wall Street Journal and a couple of appearances by yours truly on National…


Laptop Miraculously Disappears During Prayer Session

Authorities in Fort Smith, Arkansas, said yesterday that they had arrested Carl Hagy and were charging him with misdemeanor theft after an incident at a local church.  According to the report, Pastor Fidelis Obidike of Destiny Global Ministries was familiar…


“Bong Hits 4 Jesus: The Movie”

Variety magazine reported on Sunday that Paramount Pictures and (appropriately) MTV Films have bought the film rights to the story of Joseph Frederick, the Alaska high school student who was suspended for unfurling a banner near his school saying "BONG…


Celery-Throwers Face Charges in Britain

The soccer team Chelsea FC has banned three fans, and says it may press charges against them, for throwing celery onto the soccer pitch during the FA Cup quarter-final on March 19.  Two were arrested at the match; a third…


Indiana Bank Refuses to Accept Check Signed by Deity

Police in Hobart, Indiana, said Monday they had arrested Kevin Russell after he went to a local bank and tried to cash a $50,000 check that was signed "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant."  Even with all…